What a Wicked Game to Play...

Shocking news. The library copy of Orkney Today has gone missing today! 'Surely no-one would steal a newspaper from a public library?' I hear you muse, 'such a thing would be both a) ridiculous, as the paper costs less than a pound and b) evil.'

But apparently, newspaper thievery has been going on for ages! So much so that The Orcadian has to be kept beside a member of staff at all times! The paper is now attached to a piece of elastic which is connected to a special belt worn by whoever is on the desk. This has led to several staff members being dragged into the foyer and some people just let go of the paper when they are finished, letting it smack into the face of whoever is wearing the belt, but it is worth all of this trouble to keep a copy of our local paper available for all who wish to peruse it.

I phoned up Chris Isaak just now to wish him a Happy Birthday, told him of this outrage and he was as shocked as I was, if not more. In fact, he made up a song expressing his confusion about the matter. It's a little derivative of his old material, but I didn't tell him that...