The top news story of yesterday was the imminent removal of a compulsory retirement age. This excited us here greatly as, obviously, we dig old stuff and can't wait to become it.
We now intend to work until we are well over one hundred, dessicated and have shrunk to the size of small dogs. When one of us finally croaks, the rest of the team shall call for some spry 80 year-olds to come up from the library and roll us into an archival envelope to be filed with the rest of the old stuff.
It is only natural that the quality of service here will drop somewhat. We'll be smaller, slower, deafer and blinder and we'll want to spend an awful lot more time drinking cups of tea and forgetting what we came into the room for, but the upsides of working until you are dead are undeniable.
Think of the gifts we'll receive after 80 years of service, for instance. Here's to another 76 years.
I look forward to you becoming the size of a small dog, I shall place you in my man bag and take you to the many red carpet events I attend in my position as library assistant.
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