Chiving Home For Christmas...

Oh readers, we try to be festive and it makes us look like fools! What is the first thing you read when you see our snazzy, Christmas lights display below?:

Intelligent and handsome readers will, of course, read 'WE ♥ ARCHIVES' unlike the many visitors, family history society treasurers and MEMBERS OF STAFF who thought that we had taken the time to construct and hang a banner which declared 'WE ARE CHIVES' to the rest of the world.


Even making the heart bigger and redder made no difference. 'Why have you hung a banner saying that you are chives?' the people kept asking.


Honestly... why bother?


For some Friday Fun, online prestige and an Orkney Library and Archive giant paper-clip, do please send in any anagrams you can make from the banner.

The (Not so) Wonderful World of 1940s Adverts (Part 5)

It took me aaaaages to realise what this baffling advert was referring to. How mentally draining it must have been being a woman in the 1940s...and how annoying when there were LOADS of very Un-coy adverts about really gross things in nearly every issue of The Orcadian:



Flatulence!

Eww Warts!

 

Constipation!

 

"It just decays in your bowels..."

 How are the words 'sanitary' and 'towel' worse than 'wart', 'bowel' or the phrase 'two pints of bile flowing freely'?

Give me a roaring woman jumping out of a plane any day.

All adverts taken from 1947 editions of The Orcadian

The Harsh World of 1960's adverts

Wow, these adverts from a 1967 Orcadian are just not holding back are they? I had to wipe imaginary spittle from my face after reading the second one...

Sooth Mooth Woe: My Hot Sex Story

It is sometimes difficult manning the phones at an Island library & archive when you are not a local. There are all kinds of strange author names and book titles and sometimes mistakes are made.


Here in the archive, we take our turn to receive the incoming calls from the public for the whole building. It was my turn last Friday morning:


ME: (brightly, courteously and terribly professionally) Good Morning, Orkney Library and Archive, Archiver speaking!


CALLER: This is a very broad-accented aulder gentleman here looking fer a book!


ME: (brightly, courteously and terribly professionally) Just a moment *brings up screen on pc* What is the title of the book?


CALLER: Hot Sex.


ME: Em... pardon?


CALLER: (clearly and carefully) HOT. SEX.


ME: (thinking) Is he saying hot sex? Is this a rude nuisance call? Is he saying hot sex to me?
         Emmmm..... what is the author's name?


CALLER: Welsh man.


ME: (thinking) A rude Welsh man? Is that a euphemism?? *looks up Welshman, Welschmann,  Welchman etc. on system*


I'm afraid we have no books by that author's name.


CALLER: Hid's no matter....hid's aboot codes.


ME: What?


CALLER: The book's aboot codes.


ME: (thinking) Rude codes? Is that a euphemism?


 I'm sorry that I couldn't help.


CALLER: Hid's no matter. Ch'o noo.


ME: (primly) Good bye. *frantically googles*








Dear readers, this was the book:

Imagine an advert like this appearing today...

Taken from The Orcadian dated 17th January 1874.

Weirdest Old Advert EVER.

What has this picture got to do with photography????!!!!

(Orcadian Newspaper 1936)

Where am IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?

If archives could sing a song, we can only presume that it would be this...