Monday, 9 July 2012

Never Mind 50 Shades of Grey...

Check out this home-grown Orkney filth! The terms of our Disclosure Scotland contract probably forbid us to directly type this vile and sinful poem, so here is a scan taken from David Hubert Balfour's book entitled To The Unborn:

Steamy stuff, I'm sure you'll agree. The archive staff have attached a fan to the spine of the book after one member of staff fell into a swoon of horror upon discovering it and several customers have been threatening to sue the library after suffering heart attacks, seizures and/or strokes.

Look at this! :


David, the last Balfour laird, was described as a 'charming, convivial, utterly irresponsible man-about-town*' who was married and divorced four times. Reminds me a little of another Balfour cad...

*Who Was Who In Orkney, W. S. Hewison


  1. i enjoyed reading them, no judgement, it is what it that. thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks Sue. We were not questioning the quality of the poems, we enjoyed the book. It is just that we are archivists and therefore, by default, bookish, scoldy prudes!

  3. Ooooooerrrrr missus !!!! They are what they are and we know of worse -shudder !!!!

  4. Ha ha! I have not heard the phrase 'oooeer missus' for years. Shall print up some 'ooooeeer missus' stickers and attach them to all of our 'risky' books and documents forthwith.


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